Spicy Pickle or Gary Stu?
by Lady Starscream
Summary: Yes, that's right. I got bored, so I decided to put Hammertread through the Gary Stu test. Well...sorta. It's the MarySue test. eh. it's the same right?  OC-centric
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Yes, we all know about the Mary Sue tests that people have taken in the past, in order to see whether their character is a Mary Sue (or Gary-Stu) or not. So I got a little bored, and decided to run yet another of my fancharacters throught the test... here's what happened.

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The scene opens in the upstairs section of an old two-story farmhouse. It is white on the outside, and surrounded by open fields, and a white metal barn to one side of the house, where the driveway ends. We see through the top-story window, into a small room. The Authoress pulls out some hockey-goaley padding and a helmet, gets out her foam bat'o'doom, and a squirt gun.

"I hope this'll hold him back." she mumbles.

A doorway opens, and a figure comes flying through it. The little yellow car takes one look at the authoress and his light red optics go round.

He suddenly howls with laughter.

"BWAHAHAHAAAAhahahahaha!"

The Authoress sweatdrops.

Cable grins and picks himself up. He takes two breaths, onlines his optics, glances at the authoress and falls down agains, rolling on the floor. T

he authoress sweatdrops again, and deadpans. "Cable, get hammertread."

Cable manages to stifle another giggle, and glances up.

The authoress waves her foam-bat-o-doom.

Cable's straight face dissolves into giggling again.

"Cap!" the little yellow car yells, looking back at the warp-gate.

"Caaa-aaaaaap, you gotta...snerk..herherher...come see...harharheeheehee.. this"

the authoress waves her foambat menacingly. Cable gulps and grins like an idiot.

"Eheh... be right back."

He heads for the warp gate and collides with the figure on the other side.

"The authoress wants HT"

"She what?" a slightly deeper, yet just as much a tenor as the first replies, and a muddied camoflauge helmet appears through the gate. "Oh, hi. He said he'll..."

Cap snerks and ducks back through, shoulders jiggling mirthily as he tries to hold back laughter.

"Hey, you try taking on a four hundred pund tank for a Gary-Stu test and see if you won't need it!" The authoress pastes her hands on her hips and stormclouds.

After a minute of silence, she adds on

"Maybe you better send kit through with him!"

then calls "Or better yet, Alpha!"

Faint guffawing can be heard.

the authoress stormclouds.

A soft pounding sounds, gradually loudening, and a head and broad shoulders appears, followed by the rest of the tan M1A1 Abrams tank.

Hammertread frowned, trying to look threatening, but his red optics were absolutely dancing at the sight before him.

Finally, he glanced back at the warp-gate. A head popped through and there was a flash.

Cap had stuck his head through with a polaroid camera.

"Hey!"

Hammertread glared at the warp-gate. "I'll be right back"

"But..."

the authoress facepalmed.

He dissapeared thtrough the gate more quickly than a tank his size should be able to, and there was a muffled crash, and a frightened screech. (Cable)

The Authoress just watched, jaw agape.

"Guys, be..."

CRUNCH! "Ya-aiiieeee!" (Cap)

"GIVE ME THAT CAMERA!!!!" (HT)

"CABLE !! HE-YAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" (CAP)

"No, Terra, don't..." (Cable)

CRASH!

"HAAA-IIIEEEE-AAAAAH!!!!! helphelphelp!" (cap, again)

the authoress shakes her head and sits down at the computer, types, then gets up. She grins.

"KIMCHEE!!!"

"EEEEEE!" The authoress snerks, as the voice of a now three-inch-tall Hammertread being glomped by Kit wavers thtrough the vortex."

GET OFF ME!! I am not a hugaluvabear!!!"

"What did she...what's this?"

..."AAAAAAAAUUGHHHH!!!"

"VEGGIETALES!!!"

The authoress smirked. "Not exactly. You're a cucumber with a pepper for a hat."

(giggle) "spicy... pickle" (Kit)

"...ALPHAaaaaAAAAHAAHAAAA!!"

"HEEEEELP!"

"HELPME!!!

"IAMNOTASPICYPICKLEANDIAMGOINGTOKILLWHOEVERDIDTHISTOMEEEEEEEE!!"

the Authoress crawls back up into her seat after having fallen out of it laughing, then types some more.

There's a screech and a giggle, and the authoress waits patiently for her guest to appear, rapping her fingers on the desk.

Finally the red-eyed tank comes stomping through, looking very unhappy.

The authoress giggles and hold up her squirt gun. Hammertread eyes it.

"Whattya gonna do, squirt me"

the Authoress grins. "Ketchup."

Hammertread eyes the 'ketchup gun', and the authoress turns to her typing.

Now then, on to the Mary sue... er-Gary Stu test.


	2. the rest of the fanfic

Hammertread eyes the 'ketchup gun', and the authoress turns to her typing. Now then, on to the Mary sue... er-Gary Stu test.

I. First Question:

Is your character named after yourself or your screen name? (+1)

no.

HT looks bored allready.

Is your character described as beautiful? (+1)

snerk You had to ask?

"Unusually" or "astonishingly" beautiful? (+2)

HT leans over and snickers. I snap my fingers, and the huge tank almost crushing my bed shrinks to human size. Well, almost. He's probly about 6 and a half feet tall. But somewhat-human sized. He grabs a chair and takes a seat.

The most beautiful Transformer who's ever lived? (+3)

I roll my eyes. And HT blinks. "what kind of test is this?" he asks.

Do the other characters feel intimidated or threatened by her beauty? (+1)

"And why does it keep saying she?" I just snicker. "Whoops. sorry."

Are his optics an unusual color? (+1)

HT leans over. "No. They are Decepticon red."

Do they change color according to his mood? (+1)

I don't think they can get any redder. glances at HT warily

Does he have long, flowing hair? (+2)

HT blinks. I type "no" then on second though, I add "Heck, no"

Do you describe it on the first page of the story? (+2)

no again

Do you describe it more than once? (+3)

no

Is he a recolored and/or "feminized" version of a canon character? (+1)

I read the question, re-read it, and start giggling.

HT thunderclouds. "I am a he. you. idiot."

I quickly type "no, again."

Is he a Seeker? (+1)

no

Do you spend more than two consecutive paragraphs describing his physical appearance? (+1)

HT looks at me. "I don't think I have, so no."

Do you begin the story with his description? (+1)

Hmm.. (thinks) nope.

Do you make it a point to mention that he's as tall, or taller, than the average male? (+1)

I glance at HT. "No, but I did mention.. wait, yes I did, actually. He's not as tall as Prime, though. (HT nods) +1

Does the story begin with something like, "Hi there! I'm (character name) and this is my story..." etc.? (+10)

HT chuckles. Like I would ever be that perky."

I snicker. HT just said perky. Ht glares. "So? what about it" (leans in) "_human_"

Me: eep! nothing! it's just hearing a giant 4000 pound tank say perky all happy-like. (sweatdrops) nevermind.

no

Does she have wings on her shoulders? (+1)

HT: "It's saying she again."

Me: whoops. eheh..

no

Does he have wings on her butt? (-20 and you're excused from the rest of the test.)

HT tilts his head, as though trying to imagine it.

I shake my head and type "no"

Does he have more than one alt-mode? (+1)

HT (taps my shoulder) it said "her" butt.

Me: (rubs shoulder and glares at offending oppendage. "Picky, picky..."

HT: (flat look)

Me: fixing it! (mumbles)

More than two? (+2)

no

More than three? (+3)

no

HT: What part of no don't they understand?

Me: yeah.

Is her robot mode surprisingly lacking in the "kibble" that would logically be necessary to transform into all these things (because then she wouldn't be as purty)? (+2)

No.

Does she transform via "magic" or some advanced and/or alien technology? (+2)

I think we can skip this part, right HT?

HT: (nods)

Is one of her alt-modes an animal with wings? (+1)

no

An animal that doesn't typically have wings (like a cat)? (+2)

no

Any fantasy-type creature (dragon, unicorn, griffin, etc.)? (+2)

no

Is one of her alt-modes organic or partly organic (if she's G1)? (+2)

no

Does her name contain one or more of the following:

HT leans in and starts commenting anyway.

Star/Sun/Sky? (+1)

no, no, no

Fire/Flame? (+1)

no, no

Night/Day/Dawn/Shadow? (+1)

no, no, dumb, no.

me: Hey!

HT: what?

Me: Dawn is a perfectly fine name.

HT: for a human.

Me: hmpf. I'm not in the mood to argue with you right now.

moving on.

Black/Silver? (+1)

no, no

Cat/Wolf/Raptor/Dragon? (+1)

HT: (all perky sounding) "Hi, I'm CatWolfRaptorParrotDragonMarySueTheAuthoressIsStupid!" (grins)

Me: since when did you get all sarcastic?" (waves foambat.)

HT: (eyes bat) I'm not... (watches it wave) that...

(faster than I can blink he reaches out and snatches the bat away.)

Me: (whiny voice) Heeeey! That's my authoress weapon! You're not supposed to take it away!

HT: Awww. Are you gonna cry?"

Me: stormclouds, then pumps ketchup-gun. HT eyes the barrel, pointed right at him.

Me: Give. It. Back.

HT: (eyeshifts between me and gun) "You wouldn't want to stain your carpet, now would you?

Me: it's lenolium.

HT: shifts in seat slightly. "fine. Fetch." (throws foambat out into hallway.)

Me Grrrr...

squirt,squirt,squirt

HT: Mmm. tasty. (chuckles)

Me: sweatdrops, again. "ALPHA!!!!"

HT: Jumps in his seat and glances around. pauses for a second and rubs one audio. "Dang, woman. You scream louder than Kit.

Me: grins

HT: anime wilt. "You wouldn't, would you?"

Me: grins wider.

HT: growls under breath fine. (adopts a high-pitched voice and does that little finger-quote motion in the air.) I'll be-have.

grumbles

Me: okay. (sigh) Going on with the test now! (glares and hands HT a towel)

Dark/Blood/Death/Blade? (+1)

HT: Ooooh. Why couldn't you have... (trails off when he realises I'm glaring at him again.) sigh

nevermind. (rests his head on his chin)

no

Me chuckles why HT, are you pouting?

HT: no. I'm not.

Any variation of Optimus, Ultra, Mega, Galva, etc. (Includes Prime and -tron suffixes)? (+2)

no.

Me: You know, I would almost...

"I don't pout!"

Me: snerks and turns back to computer okay then. (but it sure looks like it to me. hee.)

A deliberately misspelled word, like Fyre or Darke? (+2)

no

An inexplicable capital letter in the middle of the name? (+2)

no. I used to spell ht's name HammerTread, but I stopped because it looked stupid.

Does she have a two-part name composed entirely of the previous, like "FyreBlade NightDragyn"? (+20, and come on)

no

Does her full name include a "the," followed by some supposedly cool-sounding descriptive, like, "DeathWolf the Soul-Flayer"? (+2)

Hammertread perks. "Heh. HammerDeath the Soul Flayer."

me: cackles yeah right. more like... nevermind. (shakes head.) I don't want to start another argument.

(HammerPickle the TankleGlomper? nah.)

Is her name a completely made-up word like nothing any canon TF has ever had,

just because you thought it sounded cool? (+3)

no.

Is her name a painfully blatant feminization of a canon name, like

"Starscreamia" or "Lady Optimus"? (+10)

HT: ahem. (pokes)

Me: yes, I know. it's supposed to be is "HIS", and the answer is no.

Have you used the same name for a non-TF character in another universe? (+1)

no

Two or more other universes? (+2)

no

Is it because he's actually the same character and has the ability to travel between dimensions and alter her appearance to suit each one, or some such? (+10, and sigh)

no

Does he have any of the following abilities:

(I'll let HT answer this one.)

Telepathy? (+1)

More powerful than Soundwave's? (+2)

Teleportation? (+1)

More powerful than Skywarp's? (+2)

Super-speed? (+1)

Faster than Blurr's? (+2)

Unusually keen senses? (Sight, hearing, smell, etc.) (+1 for each)

Telekenesis? (+2)

"Magical" powers, often vaguely defined or whatever the situation calls for (including magical healing of self or others)? (+2)

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I wish.

Time-travel under his own power? (+2)

no.

Control of the weather or other natural elements? (+2)

no

The ability to communicate with animals? (+2)

types no before HT can read it and make a rude comment.

Precognition or a "sixth sense" regarding imminent danger (including precognitive dreams or visions)? (+2)

no.

HT leans over and says "Does it count if I have dreams about myself attacking someone then it happens? (gives authoress a pointed look.)

Me: you know, I can rewrite you into something small and puffy."

HT: like what?

poof

Pikachu!

"..."

"AAAAAAAAAiiiiiiiiAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Me cackles madly and goes to retrieve foambat while HT is too small to mess with my computer.

Returns to seat and gets chibi-eyes from pikachu, who hops up on my lap.

Me: see, now you know what I...

"CHOOOOOOOO!!!!"

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAPPP-POW!!!

"AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!"

The entire upperstory is lit up from the inside and half of Covington blacks out.

Me: coughs, releasing a puff of smoke.

(deathly quiet) you know it would be very easy to kill you off in one of my stories?

Pika-er-HT: Pika! ahem (gives pointed look)

POOF now a human, like the one in "Rocky Top" is standing next to me.

Me: What's say we just call this a truce, okay?

HT: Glares, then finally realises I've brought up my email and is about to send a message to Kit and

Alpha. "I suppose."

Me: good. now then, on with the fanfic.

Any ability which no canon TF has ever been shown to have? (+3)

no. (hold my tongue from saying "the ability to be annoyinger, (yes, that's purposely misspelt) and the snarkiest Transformer who ever lived.)

ALL of the above? (+100 points and kindly never write anything again)

no

A brilliant scientist and/or inventor? (+1)

(politely) no

So brilliant that he effortlessly solves problems that Wheeljack, Ratchet, and/or Perceptor couldn't? (+2)

Is he a phenomenally skilled martial artist? (+1)

In Metallikato? (+2)

In some hitherto-unknown Cybertronian martial art that you just made up? (+3)

Is she the only female ever to be trained in this art? (+1)

HT: no, no, no, no, I told you before, I'm not...

Me: clears throat

Just... no.

Is he an incredible sharpshooter? (+1)

no

At any distance? (+1)

no

With any weapon? (+1)

no

If you've made Tech Specs for him:

Are they all sevens and/or eights? (+1)

no

Nines and/or tens? (+2)

no

Higher than tens? (+5)

no

I actually have tech. specs for HT somewhere, but I can't find them. and they're not really hig. I think his intellegence is around 5, rank 5, strength I know is around 9 or ten, I'm not sure what his speed is... I'll have to look for them later on.

Does he have a beautiful singing voice? (+1)

Me: eyeshifts to glance at HT, who didn't see the question.

no. At least, I don't think so. He's never sung. He's not the type.

Does he play a musical instrument? (+1)

no

Is it the flute? (+20)

no

Is it the bagpipes? (-20)

no

Is she extremely fond of a particular Earth musical group, TV show, movie, etc.? (+1)

yes, he's rather fond of Wrestling. I don't know where it came from, I think Kit got him into it.+1

That just happens to be YOUR favorite musical group, TV show, movie, etc.? (+2)

no

Is he so obsessed with a particular rock band that he named himself after it? (+10) ;-)

no.

**---------------------------------------------------**

II. We Are Family:

Is your character the daughter of a canon character? (+1)

HT blinks. "I don't know. I don't remember who my creator is."

Me: no, then.

Is it Starscream? (+1)

HT snorts humorlessly. That pathetic little whelp? I don't think so.

Is it Megatron? (+2)

HT thinks for a minute. "I was tricked into believing that when my memory was erased by the Decepticons, but no. He is not.

Is it Optimus Prime? (+3)

Me: bwAHAHAHA! (gets look from HT)(ahem...sorry)

That your character does not originally know about? (+1)

HT: I allready said I don't know.

Me: Yeah, but it's probably not a canon character, so no.

Because your character's mother hid him away to "protect" him from something? (+2)

HT: snorts no.

Is your character the brother of a canon character? (+1)

no

Is it Optimus Prime? (+1)

Me: I hope not. grins

HT: narrows optics

Me: no.

Is it Megatron? (+2)

HT: looks thoughtful, then answers "no."

Is it Starscream? (+3)

both of us look at each other and chuckle.

Does he have a twin of the same gender? (+1)

Me: I hope not. One of him is enough, thank you.

(no)

Of the opposite gender? (+2)

Me: A female HT? (horror movie shieking tune plays in background as I imagine it) shivers

HT: no.

Do they communicate telepathically? (+3)

HT: the answer to that is apparently no.

Is he the product of a tragically doomed romance between an Autobot and a Decepticon? (+1)

no

Was he adopted? (+1)

Me: grins and looks at HT

HT: growls can we just get on with it?

Me: Fine. You're no fun.

no.

Was he found in a basket on a doorstep in the driving rain, with a mysterious note pinned to her blankie? (Sorry)

HT blinks, I snicker, and I type no.

**---------------------------------------------------**

**III. Origin of the Species:**

Was your character on board the Ark or the Nemesis? (+1)

Me: (looks at HT) I believe this is your department.

HT: no I wan't. I was still on Cybertron and took a small ship to Earth, following the engine transmissions of the Nemesis and Ark.

Me: nods so the answer is no.

Is he part-alien or part- any other non-TF creature? (+1)

no

Is he a non-Cybertronian mechanoid who joined the TFs for whatever reason? (+1)

no

Is he a human who was turned into a TF? (+2)

HT leans over and says "Does it count if he's a TF that gets turned into a human and back again?"

Me: no.

No beating about the bush: is she you turned into a TF? (+3)

no. Definitely not.

Do you secretly believe that this is really going to happen some day? (+5)

no

Seriously, though? (+10)

no

Is he an alien (organic) who was turned into a TF? (+1)

no

Is he a fantasy-type creature (elf, mermaid, dragon, unicorn, etc.) who was turned into a TF? (+2)

HAHAHA! elf? mermaid? (laughs hysterically)

Ht: tilts head what's a mer-maid?

Me: It's an... um... it would take too long to explain.

Is he a canon character from a non-TF universe who was brought into this universe and turned into a TF? (+3)

no

Because he was badly injured by/because of a TF and this was the only way they could save her life? (+1)

no

Because he wanted to Join In the Fight Against Evil? (+1)

no

Because Megatron (or Galvatron or whoever) had the idea to turn humans into Decepticons and use them against the Autobots? (+1)

no

Because he was in love with a TF and this was the only way they could be together? (+2)

no (HT rolls his optics)

Due to a Convenient Unexplained Phenomenon (a dimensional portal, an energy bolt from space, etc.)? (+2)

no

For Mysterious Reasons of His Own? (+2)

no

Because he wanted revenge on an annoying ex-girlfriend? (-100 points and please send me the story)

HT scoots his chair over nect to mine, and I scoot to give him room. "Go ahead, give it an answer."

HT: It wasn't my annoying ex-girlfriend. In fact, I didn't know she was on Earth. But I did come to get revenge on the mech that tried to kill me.

Me: Read "The Art of Revenge. The story's in there.

HT nods.

Is he a member of a hitherto-unknown "third race" that fled Cybertron during the Great War? (+2)

no

Is he royalty of any kind? (+2)

no

That he does not originally know about? (+3)

no

Is he a member of a non-allied mercenary group that Plays By Their Own Rules and Answers To No One? (+3)

no.

Is he the leader? (+1)

Is this group made up of stunningly beautiful and incredibly dangerous femmebots? (+1)

HT: Ah, every mech's dream come true sarcastic sigh

Me: You know Alpha's gonna be reading this, right?

HT: Yeah. So?

Me: facepalms she's gonna smack the slag outta you for that comment.

HT: so? she hits like a girl. shrugs

Are they Feared and Respected Throughout the Galaxy? (+1)

no

Do they have their own spaceship? (+1)

HT: I have my own ship. Well, untill I blew it up, anyway. +1

Or did your character presumably come about in a perfectly ordinary way, because you don't feel her origins are worth going on about? (-30 and thank you, thank you, thank you)

yes. He is perfectly normal thinks for a second then adds Well, he's not normal, but... you get the idea.-30

**---------------------------------------------------**

**IV. All You Need Is Love**

Does your character fall in love with a canon character? (+1)

both of us: NO!

Is it Optimus Prime? (+1)

no

Is it Megatron? (+2)

no

Is it Starscream? (+3)

no

Does he fall in love with someone from an opposing faction? (+1)

HT thinks for a second. Well, err.. who did you say would be reading this?

Me: HT wasn't a Decepticon when he and Alpha finally got together. So no.

HT: shoves the Authoress away. I didn't ask you to answer for me. And the answer is no.

Me: picks self up off floor and glares at HT fine. But you didn't have to shove me like that.

HT: oh cry about it.

Me: It doesn't matter. The readers allready know about you and alpha.

HT: harrumphs and leans back in chair, as though to say 'whatever'.

From a different continuity? (i.e. an Autobot and a Maximal)? (+2)

no

From an opposing faction AND a different continuity? (i.e. an Autobot and a Vehicon)? (+3)

no

Did they fall in love within days of meeting each other? (+1)

no. Actually they prettymuch hated each other at first.

Did they fall in love At First Sight or The Moment Their Eyes Met? (+2)

heck, no.

Do they defy anyone's direct orders to be together? (+1)

no. Not HT, at least. ;-)

Does one of them defect from their faction so they can be together? (+1)

Me: looks at HT

HT: looks thoughtful.Well, I had allready left the Decepticons, tried to rejoin, and got Alpha caught. I guess you could say yes. looks startled+1

Me: what's wrong, HT have an epiffany?

HT: tilts head what an apithomy?

Me: an EPIFFANY is a sudden realisation or understanding. looks for Websters dictionary I hope I spelled that right.

HT: just get on with the questions.

Do they BOTH defect from their factions so they can be together? (+2)

no

Do canon characters fight (or otherwise compete) for his affections? (+1)

no

Does she "reform" a thought-to-be-irredeemably-evil character through The Power of Her Love? (+100 and pass me the Pepto-Bismol.)

HT: chuckles no. I'd be more likely to corrupt someone. grins

Does your character have sex with the object of her affections? (+1)

HT blinks

no

Me: I think we can skip this part. (fills in questions)

HT: nods

More than once? (+2)

no

That you describe in point-by-point detail? (+1)

no

For more than two consecutive pages? (+3)

ew. (HT can be heard chuckling from beside me)

Is it a life-altering experience for her? (+1)

snicker no.

For him? (+1)

Ht blinks, then snorts with a disgusted look

ermm.. no.

Do one or both of them cry afterwards because it was so beautiful? (+1)

HT starts laughing.

Me: what? some people write that.

HT: I'll bet they do. shakes head

no

Did you cry afterwards because it was so beautiful? (+2)

HT gives me look.

Me: a. I've never wrote anything like that, and

b. no. just... no.

Do they get married? (+1)

no

HT: marriage and bonding is not the same thing anyways.

Me: hey, you're actually smart!

HT: duh. lugnuts for brains.

Me: grins I think i'm wearing off on you.

HT: You're my authoress. Of course I have some of your personality. shakes head idiot.

Do you describe the wedding ceremony? (+1)

no

For more than two consecutive pages? (+2)

no

Including giving the name of every single character who was invited? (+3)

no

Is the wedding attended by members of opposing factions, because they decided to set aside their differences in order to share in the joy of this wondrous event? (+20)

no

Does this wedding ceremony bear an astonishing similarity to a late 20th/early 21st century American middle-class Christian wedding, complete with vows, veil, and bouquet, despite the fact that this is far from the only type of wedding ceremony that exists (or has ever existed) on Earth, so to expect giant robots from outer space to use this exact same ritual is PATENTLY ABSURD! (Sorry.) (+50)

no

Do they have a child together? (+1)

no

More than one? (+2)

no

More than two? (+3)

no

More than three? (+4)

no..

HT: Oh come on, how absurd can you get?

Me: yeah.

Are any of them twins? (+5)

no (HT looks at me)

Me: This only covers love with canon characters anyway. There's no section covering fancharacter romance. (looks pleased)

HT: and why do you look so smug?

Me: Because... nevermind.

HT: who's HighRoad?

Me: sweatdrops my fanchar's husband

HT: and does he know what you've been doing with Jazz?

Me: asking too many questions will get you turned into a squirrel or some other harmless fuzzy woodland creature, HT

HT: grins So he doesn't know.

Me: on with the questions.

With telepathic powers? (+6)

no

**---------------------------------------------------**

**V. It's a Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad World**

Me: I'm pretty sure we can skip this part.

HT: nods

Is your character an orphan? (+1)

no

Were her parents killed in an attack by the opposing faction? (+1)

no

In an attack by pirates, mercenaries, an alien invasion, or anything other than a canon TF faction? (+2)

no

Did this attack destroy her entire city or colony? (+2)

no

Her entire world? (+3)

no

As a result of this attack, was she Left Alone To Fend For Herself In a Cruel Uncaring Universe? (+1)

HT: I've had to fend for myself a lot of times. But not because of anything my creators did.

Me: anotherwords, no.

Was she Forced To Do Terrible Things To Survive? (+1)

HT: smug grin I wasn't forced to. I did Terrible Things because I was a Decepticon.

That she deeply regretted doing, because deep down inside she was still a good and kind individual? (+1)

HT: Heck, no. I can honestly say I enjoyed every minute of it.

Me: gives HT a look

HT: shrugs

At any point in your character's history:

Was he kidnapped? (+1)

no

Was he sexually assaulted? (+2)

no

By more than one individual? (+3)

no

By a canon character? (+100 points and shame on you)

no

Was he forced into slavery? (+2)

no

Was it sexual in nature? (+5)

no

Was he captured by the opposing faction or other evil persons? (+1)

HT: Does the blue shrimp count?

Me: It's blue twit. and unfortunately, no he doesn't.

Was he tortured? (+1)

HT: looks thoughtful

no.

Was his mind forcibly read by a telepath or some kind of evil brain-scanning device? (+1)

HT: yes. But she isn't evil. Indy is an Autobot. Although a strangely misguided femme, but yes. She read my mind. +1

Was his mind altered in any way (false memories implanted, brainwashed into betraying her faction, etc.)? (+1)

HT: I wasn't betraying my own faction. Strangely enough, I was rejoining them when my memories were altered. looks at the Authoress

Me: I think that counts. +1

Did he swear revenge on a particular group or faction as a result of Her Tragic Experience (whatever it was)? (+1)

no

Did he swear revenge on a particular individual? (+1)

no

Did he change his name, upgrade his body configuration, or otherwise alter himself in any way because of it? (+2)

no

At any point in his history, does he change factions? (Going from Neutral to a named faction, or vice-versa, counts.) (+1)

yes, quite a bit. Let's see. Decepticon, to Kintaari, to neutral, to Decepticon, to neutral/autobotish+1

Does she change factions more than once? (+2)

yes+2

More than twice? (+3)

yes+3

Do the other characters get so sick of his faction-swapping that they finally just haul off and shoot him? (-50)

Yes, actually. Well they tried. HT was one of the group including the Kintaari that were put on trial for crimes aginst humanity, yadda yadda, yadda in "The Wrong Side of Right"

Unfortunately because of how the question is worded, I don't think it counts.-25

Is he insane, or suspected of being insane? (+1)

no, but he's suspectedly Psychopathic. HT just grins.

Does he experience flashbacks or other mental lapses? (+1)

yes. He has several times. Although he doesn't any more. At least I don't think he does. +1

Does he suffer from a pathological phobia of clowns? (-20)

no

**---------------------------------------------------**

**VI. Don't Fear the Reaper**

Does your character die? (+1)

He hasn't yet

Does he sacrifice herself to save the object of her affections? (+2)

Me: looks at HT

HT: What?

Me: nothing. Nevermind.

To save his entire faction? (+3)

HT: like I'd do that.

Me: shakes head.

To save Cybertron and/or Earth? (+4)

no

To save the galaxy? (+5)

no

To save the entire universe/multiverse/space-time continuum? (+10)

no

Does he repair a time paradox by dying? (+2)

no

Does he cause one? (+2)

no

Is his death witnessed by five or more canon characters? (+1)

no

Do any of them cry? (+1)

no

Does anyone shout "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" at any point? (number of O's and exclamation points may vary.) (+2)

no

Does he make a speech before she dies? (+1)

no

Is it more than two paragraphs long? (+2)

no

More than two pages long? (+3)

no

Does she sing "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" in a loud, bellowing voice? (-10)

no

Do you describe her funeral? (+1)

no

Is it awfully similar to an Earth-type funeral? (See the question about weddings.) (+2)

no

Do the attendees make moving speeches about how wonderful she was and what a difference she made in their lives? (+3)

no

Are these speeches more than two paragraphs long? (+4)

no

More than two pages long? (+5)

no

Does anyone break down and cry in the middle of their speech? (+5)

no (HT yawns) "This is getting boring."

Me: yeah. I know. But we're almost done.

Did you cry while you were writing it? (+5)

no

During the funeral, does she come lurching out of her coffin as a hideously decomposed cannibal zombie and massacre everybody in sight? (-20) (Well, I'd like to see that)

HT perks "Me too."

Me: facepalms

Did she leave a will or any kind of last message? (+1)

no

Does it begin with an "If you're reading this/seeing this, it means I'm dead" sort of thing? (+1)

no

Does everyone think she died, but she actually didn't? (+3)

no

Does she actually die, but somehow come back to life at the end of the story? (+4)

no

Will she come back to life in a subsequent story? (+3)

no

In which you blatantly contradict and/or ignore the events of the current one? (+20)

no

Does someone else sacrifice him- or herself to restore your character to life? (+2)

no

Does the object of her affections bring her back to life solely through the Power of Their Love? (+50 and you're determined to kill me, aren't you?)

no

Does he die and get resurrected more than once? (+2)

no

More than twice? (+3)

no

More than Optimus Prime? (Never mind, that's not possible.)

no to all of the above. thank you, thank you.

**---------------------------------------------------**

**VII. And, In the End...**

Have you written (or are you planning to write) more than one story centered around this character? (+1)

Yes. +1

More than two? (+2)

I allready have. Actually, they're co-written. +2

More than three? (+3)

I'm hoping too. (HT looks suprised, but tries to cover it up.) +3

Do you ONLY write stories centered around this character? (+10)

no.

Have you altered the canon in any way to favor her (i.e., changed the plot of an episode, re-written the Movie so a character doesn't die, etc.)? (+1)

no

Has he appeared in more than one continuity? (G1, BW, etc.) (+1)

no (not yet. Hee)

HT: You're planning on putting me in another continuity?

Me: Beast Wars. and that's a BIG maybe. It's an RP. shrugs

More than two? (+2)

no

More than three? (+3)

no

As soon as you hear of a new TF continuity coming out, do you immediately start thinking of how you can involve your character in it? (+5)

no, although that tank in the 2007 Transformers Movie really reminded me of HT. snicker

Do you get cheesed off when readers don't adore and worship your character? (+3)

no.

Do you resent the suggestion that stories based around your fanchars are not as interesting to other people as they are to you? (+5)

no

And finally, while taking this test, did you feel periodic stings of recognition, flashes of annoyance, a temptation to say, "So what's wrong with THAT?" or "You're making fun of ME, aren't you!" etc. etc. etc.? (+1 for each time this happens)

no.

okay, time to add up the points.

Your total is...

-12 W00T! (and that's not including the "did they haul off and shoot him" question, either!)

(HT looks unimpressed.)

Me: What? That's the lowest score I think, out of any of the Mary Sue or Gary Stu tests I've read yet.

HT gets up. "Can I go back now?"

Me: sure. (opens doorway)

Hammertread shakes his head and walks through.

Me: pondering who should I ask next? hmm... I wonder.

A muddy camoflauge tank about 10 feet in height, way shorter than HT walks through. "Hey, can I hide out here till

Hammetrtread isn't mad anymore?" Cap looks hopefull. I just grin. "You got any pictures of that polaroid you took?"

Cap: grins back sure do. pulls a copy from subspace and snickers

I smirk back. "Hey Cap, you wanna take a Mary-Sue test?"

The _Challenger II_ tank blinks. "Uh... okay." He shrugs. "I guess..."

"What's a Mary-Sue test?

I just smirked in reply. "You're about to find out. Have a seat."

I patted the chair next to me.

**--------------------------------------------------- **

According to the last Mary-Sue test I read, 25 or less is normal. So I think

I'll let you do the tallying. I'm not sure if my fanchar is a Mary-Sue or not.

Hope you enjoyed! Later!

End


End file.
